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Leeza Has Been Briefed on Slack

from New England Music (1996) by Thunderegg



Dialogue is from a fall 1995 episode of The Leeza Gibbons Show in which slackers are really getting the treatment.


LEEZA: So what’s wrong with that? AUDIENCE MEMBER #1: Well, who’s going to pay for it? (applause) I mean, you have to eat, you wanted him to have insurance. Uh, there are certain things that go to make up our way of life today, whether we like it or not. Uh, we have to obey laws, and that means we have to have a certain amount of cleanliness, we have to wear clothes… LEEZA: Well, now, are they not clean? AM#1: No, no, no, I’m not saying they specifically, I made that as a, as a, uh, things that… LEEZA: Just rules of society. Now, let’s get to this insurance question that she brings up again.…Sarah, are slackers losers? SARAH (panel expert): No, I think that’s a misconception. They’re also not necessarily just lazy. It has to do with doing things that maybe society does not recognize as valuable pursuits.… LEEZA: Sarah, are slackers losers?…Sarah, are slackers losers?…Slackers get a lot of stuff for free. CORRUPT PRO-ESTABLISHMENT FATHER #1: Richard could have health insurance if he signed up for school and took a full load. Now, I’ve even told him to go so far as to sign up for school, pay for it, take a full load, drop it, bring me the thing to send to the insurance company to prove that he’s in school, and he won’t even do that. RICHARD: Oh, you just busted yourself on national TV. LEEZA: We’ll let you get your chance at Dad next. We’ll also be meeting another dad who says that if slackers had actually faced a draft, they might think differently. And I have a list of things that parents will pay for, Sarah says maybe only the major medical, but you know what? They’re a lot of things on here, we’ll do the test when we come back, stay with us, we’ll be right back. RICHARD: Busted. CPF#1: I’m teaching him how to use the system and get by and live a life that’s in the real world, yes. (audience derision) AUDIENCE MEMBER #2: That’s different. That’s not using the system, that’s abusing the system.… LEEZA: Sarah, are slackers losers?…Sir, is your son a slacker? CORRUPT PRO-ESTABLISHMENT FATHER #2: Yes. Without a doubt. LEEZA: Now, you feel like, that, we can control the attitudes of these kids. How would you do that? CPF#2: Well, in our generation, there was the Vietnam War, there was a challenge, in our parents’ generation, there was a challenge, and I think this generation is lacking a common focus to see that life has certain challenges and that they have to commit to their society. LEEZA: But, now, you don’t want your son to have to face a war, or do you? CPF#2: No, not a war, but I think boot camp would be a really good idea. (applause) LEEZA: Good… (to SON) Do you feel that you have no social consciousness? SON: I have, I really don’t have any desire to go to a foreign country and meet people I don’t know and kill them. CPF#2: No, I was talking about a, a, a, a focus for the generation, whether it was the Depression, or World War Two, or something that people were facing as a society, or as a group. SON: That doesn’t mean going to a foreign country and killing people. LEEZA: But there are wars, I mean, clearly, there are wars all over the globe going on, now, I mean in our country, we’ve got our own internal wars…Sarah, are slackers losers?…Sarah, are slackers losers?… AUDIENCE MEMBER #3: I think that the generation, I’m part of what they say is Generation X. And you have to take personal responsibility for yourself, and these people aren’t doing it. (applause) You know, we don’t need a war, we don’t need anything, what you have to do is you have to look inside yourself and you have to—if they want to be creative, that’s fine, I’m not saying they can’t be creative. But you have to take personal responsibility for yourself, be creative if that’s what you want to do, work in a profession if that’s what you want to do, but don’t do it on your parents’ time. Do it on your own time. AUDIENCE MEMBER #4: I don’t think that, um, that our generation has abused Social Security. I think that the government has abused Social Security. (applause)


from New England Music (1996), released May 21, 1996




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