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I Wish I Had a Stove

from Universal Nut (1995) by Thunderegg



I’ll grab me a snack from the refrigerator and warm it up under the radiator. If I had a stove I could eat macaroni. Fettuccine, vermicelli, orzo, rigatoni. I wish I had a stove.

Sometimes I think it would be so great if I could even own a hot plate. But that runs against build-ing regulations, so I can only eat food that doesn’t require preparation. I wish I had a stove.

Eating things cold gets really old. Oh, I wish I had a stove.

Some stoves even have a built-in oven. If frying is liking, baking is loving. I can set the timer at thirty minutes, and when the buzzer goes off, my cake is finished. I wish I had a stove.


from Universal Nut (1995), released September 19, 1995




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