Double​-​Date Brad

from by Thunderegg

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Double-date Brad, didn’t want to make Rebecca feel had. Never even asked her up to his pad. Didn’t want to act like Fred, who was bad. He took it slow, Double-date Brad.

When Brad first saw Rebecca he wanted to neck her, but he knew all that pressure was not likely to impress her. So he hatched up a match-up where they could mutually relate. Called Fred and Elaine and arranged a double-date. They went to the Bijou and I don’t deceive you when I tell you that Brad kept his hands on his Jujy Fruits. A couple seats down Fred laid the moves on Elaine, but Brad showed Rebecca he was above those games.

On the fourth and fifth dates Brad got his dad to chaperone while Fred and Elaine stayed home talking dirty on the phone. Brad treated Rebecca with perfect behavior. From every sort of corruption he strove to save her. When he was finally sure that he had honored her honor, he decided it was time to let her know that he want her. So when he walked her to the step after that Sunday matinee, met her eyes, pulled her close, looking for more than amitée, Brad was aghast when she denied his pass. She froze, then she slapped him for show-ing such sass. I expected so much more from a friend, she said, If I wanted hanky panky, I could have gone to Fred. And at that she turned around and slammed the door shut on Brad, and he sulked back to the curb to get a ride home with Dad.

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from New England Music (1996), released May 21, 1996

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