Anything but Me

from Not What I Meant (2012) by Thunderegg

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While attending some open mic, I saw some dude playing some song I liked, and I was like, Why can't I write an awesome song like that, why can't I hold a room in my palm like that? I was walking out by the beach, I saw a yellow dog chasing after a Frisbee, and I thought, What a shame I'll never be like that, never loving or loyal or free like that. Looked all around me out on the street: That banker has more money, that car is faster than me, I'm cryin', I'm cryin', but the baby does it better and his mom, I never met her, but she'd say, "Wouldn't even have considered you. My husband is a doctor and what do you do?" I would've lied and tried to say I'm a provider, too, I've got a lot to offer, she'd say, "Oh yeah? Prove it, we'll see." That singer, that dog, that banker, that car, that baby, that lady, it seems I want to be anything but me.

Some people manage to live their whole lives but don't consider for a minute what they're actually like. It's like, Why they wanna deprive us like that? Why would anyone deny surprises like that? They march along like they were told they should, it’s no wonder it’s so easy to feel misunderstood. If I could be a little more like something normal, would you see your way to telling me I’m any good? I went out for a long, long ride, thought I'd find some comfort in the countryside, I'm drivin', I'm drivin', and for a moment I get the notion that if I only kept in motion I’d be okay. But that would mean they got their way, and someone else would only have to take my place. It’d be easy to leave but easier to stay, easy to be me and to be unafraid, let them see: That singer, that dog, that banker, that car, that baby, that lady, I'm gonna let them be anything but me.


from Not What I Meant (2012), released December 18, 2012




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