Pardon Your French

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I was laying candles on the mantel while you put on the negligee. There was no reason there should be a scandal if the injured party’s gone away. What was that sheen I seen, pictures of him? Thought you buried the evidence. I hope he’d understand that I could be any man and he’ll pardon your French. Yeah, it wasn’t just what you said. Hope he’ll pardon your French, and let it all come down on your head instead.

I’d be naive if I didn’t believe he had revenge fantasies up his sleeve. Seething on the streets of Paris, reading a sheet that leads back to my La Bohème seedy scene. I would lay the blame on your frame if I weren’t reaping the benevolence. I just hope he’d understand that I could be any man and he’ll pardon your French. Yeah, it wasn’t just what you said. Hope he’ll pardon your French, and let it all come down on your head instead.

I am not the threat. I just took what I could get. And I’m sorry he’s upset, but I’ve done nothing I will regret.

Because it was you and only you who made the mistake, and thanks to that same brand of confusion, I’ve got the same heartache. At least the two of you get to share the same continent. I hope he’d cut some slack for a Jacques who was just as jacked, and he’ll pardon your French. Yeah, it wasn’t just what you said. Hope he’ll pardon your French, and let it all come down on your pretty head instead.

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from The Envelope Pushes Back (2000), released October 10, 2000

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