If I Went on a Diet

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If I went on a diet, then would you love me? Even if there were so much less of me than there used to be?

When I’m walking down the street I feel you pulling deepest reaches of my spirit, secrets keep no longer than a winter evening, then I find I’m telling you all I never wanted to. It’s inevitable truth and I hate it through and through. To tell you what I thought would go against all I was taught, but I was never a good student, constantly needed improvement. And the curse only got worse till the fool I am emerged, found myself standing on the curb shouting out my foolish words. And I saw you before the mirror with your hands over your ears so that both you and reflection wouldn’t ever have to hear. "I love you" won’t be seeping through to either of you soon, but I’ll never drop the dream I’m heard by someone in between. And if I wear down your defenses and you say you love me too, I’ll put a ring upon your finger just to stick those words to you. But that which slips does also glisten, light shines forth in glimmer soft, from golden rings that I did give, from soap you used to slip it off. And I’ll find that I’m back standing where I’d long ago once stood, except an aftermath equivalent can never feel as good. Before I watched what I was eating, thought I’d get in shape for you, now I couldn’t have a bite even if I wanted to.

If I went on a diet, then would you love me? Even if there were so much less of me than there used to be?

credits

from The Envelope Pushes Back (2000), released October 10, 2000

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